Meaningful Life

I started grasping this concept of having a life this evening during my share.  It's something about connecting with people and being authentic and in the moment.  It was like sunday night when I had a few hours to kill and no where to be.  I had quantatative productive work that I could use to fill the time.  that's what I wanted to do, but a guy asked me to go have a beer with him.  I don't drink, but I took the opportunity to practice socializing.  He had a beer, and we hung out.  Normally that would sound like torture.  I still can't intellectually grasp how it enriches my life to spend time with people doing nothing productive, but it did.  we talked about a crazy vietnam war vet he used to have for a coach who's as psycho as mine.  He told me about downhill mountain racing, which apparently has the most devastating wipeouts EVER, and I explained adventure racing to him.  we decided to make a team, and hold auditions for our navigator.  We'll post an add on craigslist, and tape the audition which will probably have no applicants.  it was just silliness, and it was more memorable and fulfilling than doing the same training, studying, or paperwork that I always do to validate myself.  Other ways I've been connecting today:

-friendly debate about 12 step programs and higher powers

-singing lion king songs in car with Cri

-listening

-screaming in the driveway

-staring contest with Am

-singing I'm too Sexy with Cri

-opera singing

-gulping like frogs and practicing cockney accents with Jp

-Joking with pirates

So i think what's important about this is that all the past weeks of training - good and bad - they all run together.  No matter how much I accomplish, none of it fills the hole I'm trying to fill with exercise and food.  But this stuff does.  I need human connection, whether I understand why or not.