What else...
I took like...an hour and a half detour on a really cool twisty turney back road through the mountains today. I was running late, and took this road as a short cut, drove almost 40 miles, and found out that the road was closed, and the only way to get where I was going was to go all of the way back the way I came, and return to my usual route. Instead of being 15 minutes late, I would now be at least 1 hour and 45 minutes late. Did I stress about it? well...yes. but only for like 2-5 minutes! I called my friend to let him know, and then enjoyed the ride. I couldn't have done that before recovery. I also had time to think about my upcoming appointment. It was a photoshoot...the first one I've done since I started my abstinence. I knew I needed the pictures, and that I was in relatively good shape, but I really felt like I needed to stop eating for at least a day prior to the shots or at the very least take a massive overdose of fiber to help empty out my stomach. You can't take pictures with anything in your stomach, right? My thinking was so disordered on this topic. I totally would have done it if it wasn't clearly defined in my abstinence. I was stressing out about getting these pictures without engaging in any of that sort of behavior. I wanted to put them off til I was skinnier or something, but I needed them now! On my long detour, while I was working on accepting things as they are, I realized that the stuff we were going to be doing in the photo shoot was going to be really fun...REALLY fun! I was so worried about my stomach, that I forgot how cool it was going to be. I decided to let go. There was nothing I could do about my stomach. It was probably fine anyway. I could just focus on enjoying the day. And I did. I was pretty present. Pretty exciting that I could do that.
