Why I'm starting a blog...

This program has changed my life.  There's no question about it.  It's hard to express the magnitude of it, but when I go about my usual activities and run into someone I haven't seen since before I began recovery...even if I never spoke to them much before, I don't have to say a lot now for them to notice a difference.  And it's weird, because it's not like I was depressed all of the time before.  People who didn't see me at home engaging in my disease would have described me as a happy person-extremely determined and focused.  But even those people notice the change.  "You seem a lot happier-more at peace."  It's true, and it's not because better things are happening.  From the outside, my life looked amazing before.  It was like everything was going my way (ok...maybe not everything) but I was crumbling inside.  It didn't matter how good things were, my spirit was dying, and that's what it took for me to see the devastating error of my seriously distorted priorities.  I was at my wits end, and needed help.  And thank God I got to that point, because I NEVER would have listened to their seemingly radical ideas if I hadn't been that desperate and helpless.

One of the most important things I've learned (begrudgingly at first) was that I need people.  HUMAN CONNECTION is one of the very most important things in my life.  I used to brush it off like it was nothing-a simple waste of time for normal people who weren't disciplined enough to stay focused on career and success.  I didn't understand that that human connection is the thing that makes it all worth while.  That's like...what life is!  That's what was missing.  91 days ago, I had been living in the same city for 2 years, and had about 3 friends who I hung out with rarely and only if it fit into my "very important" schedule...and only if i could justify the productivity of the activity we were doing.  Today, I have so many amazingly close friends with whom I communicate --gosh--almost everyday, it's hard to keep up with them.  I keep learning to reach out and connect every day, and want so badly to keep in touch with all of them.  I need them (and I'm not afraid to say that anymore)...I'm writing this blog mostly for myself, so that I can continue recovering and connecting with my new friends.  I love you guys.  but at the same time, I'll be sharing everything I've learned, and hopefully, it will help you and other people.