One of the major things I am trying to learn in this program is time management, which seems really weird to me since I've been a master of utilizing time wisely since high school when I had to make sure no moment went to waste. Between school and training, every hour was booked, and I had to get all of my homework done on the bus and in the car, and during lunch and dinner. I definitely obsessed about it, and was extremely efficient until the predictable weekly nervous breakdown in which I concluded that there simply was not enough time to get everything done! I would panic and cry about it for about 5 minutes, and then buckle down, and generally succeed at whatever impossible task I was trying to accomplish. It was an extremely satisfying, but terribly stressful way of living, and it obviously took its toll. I mean...that's a big part of my disorder: perfectionism-having to do everything, and do it beyond well, right?
So when I say I'm working on time management, I'm learning how to make time for myself, so that I can live a more balanced life, not go berzerk! and hopefully accomplish more in the end anyway, because I won't have to waste time recovering from the extensive abuse I've given myself. But that's proving very hard. I don't mind scheduling in time to hang out with friends. I did a really good job of that last week. I relaxed by the pool, played some music and sang with friends, dated, watched movies...those things are important too...but I still have to get things done. And I've been doing that too. It's just that I used to sacrifice social time to make sure I always got enough sleep, and I don't know how to do both. And then I still have to have time for journaling, phone calls, and steps!? I have plenty to work on. that's for sure. I think I have to talk to my coach about how to make our gym time more condensed and efficient. He can be hard to compromise with sometimes, but it's gonna have to be done sooner or later. ugh. well obviously that's what I have to do since I TOTALLY DON'T WANT TO DO IT!!! (thanks Erin) So you know I will. It may be a few days....I have to strategize a little. I'll let ya know how it goes.
