So I think I'm just uncomfortable with things being normal.  If every day doesn't end spectacularly, I feel off kilter.  I have a hard time going to bed without a happy ending to close out the day.  I don't really know how else to explain it.  Sometimes I feel like I have to say up until I get that comforting sense of closure to the day.  But I don't like just waiting around for it.  I either have to do something to make it happen, or check out in some way.  I guess that's why I used to do a lot of bingeing in the evenings.  It's why I've been feeling like eating since I got home this afternoon and knew we had no more activities planned for the day.  It's not a disaster.  It's not a drama, but being aware of it is kinda a big deal.  Tonight, I'm going to practice not having to force a perfect ending to the day.  I can't really make them happen anyway, and tonight, I don't have to beat myself up for that.  but I think i'd like a hug.  i'm gonna go hug my mom...right after I play a prank on my step dad.  he's snoring.  it must be done.  : )