Per World Service Guidelines, most OA meetings follow a pretty similar format. They present similar literature. People share on similar topics for the same amount of time. We have the same problems and are seeking the same solution. "At our very first meeting, we learned that we were in the clutches of a dangerous disease..." ; we hear other people tell our own stories over and over. And I really can hear so many of my own inner thoughts and feelings in other peoples' shares. How is it then, that the meetings in Orange County (especially Tuesday nights) can be so exponentially more touching and inspirational? I've been puzzling over it for almost 6 months now, but tonight it hit me. CT was sharing...but not about herself. She had seen such a remarkable change in another member who had just shared, that she had to express it. She had comforting and congratulatory words for several of the people in the room. It was a small group, and we all know eachother...even the week old newcomer. She of course had welcoming words for her. And not just "welcome to the newcomer." It was very personalized to both the speaker and the recipient. What struck me about this share was how deeply intertwined her life was with us. Our successes and failures meant something to her. She didn't have generic words of advice. She heard specifics, related personally to them, learned from them, applied them in her own life, shared that personal experience, and genuinely cared. I'm sure she has plenty going on in her own life. She shared a little about that too, but she was so present - so in the moment, that what was going on in the room with us was just what was on her mind when it was her time to share. Is this cross-talk? technically... yeah. probably. But as the next meeting progressed, and it continued on a larger scale, I began to see how huge its impact was. We got to hear one Ctln's story through her eyes, but what woman can clearly see the full extent of her own strength and progress? We're all hard on ourselves, and sometimes can't see just how far we've come. We got to hear from at least 5 other people not only how much Ctln had grown, but how her growth had touched and inspired them. Ctln got to see that people care greatly for her, and that she has a huge impact on their lives. We all celebrated CJ's 1st birthday, and Ax shared that one little statement CJ had made many months ago was now written on her own mirror in big letters. Kts noticed little subtleties like the absence of a nervous or angry gesture that used to be common place for CJ. CJ hadn't even noticed that herself. How amazing to see that people care for you enough to notice these little things? New comers got to see what it means to have true supportive friends and to love and be loved. The magic is that we're not just recovering from the same problem with the same goal...at other meetings, we're each trying to recover in the same place at the same time, but on Tuesday nights in Costa Mesa, we're recovering together. It's a team effort.
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