I'm working today, and there's been a lot of down time.  It's been a little hard, with the snack table right in front of me and nothing to do.  Plus, the food is so unbalanced.  it's all carbs and fatty snack food.  Normally, I don't eat breakfast when I'm working, because they have catering trucks with amazing buffets.  this one isn't as big, so I was thinking there would be less options.  maybe eggs.  but all they had was muffins and bagels.  the ONLY protein was cream cheese.  some choice!  and then most of my snacks throughout the day usually are little salads or wraps with chicken or turkey or something.  today it was cheese-its.  I don't feel good about it.  it's ok though.  and instead of hiding in my book, i've been hanging out in the middle of things, trying to stay present and connect with my boss and other workers.  it's been ok.  i've had some good chats, and learned some new things.  after lunch (finally, a good meal), I took a nap.  i wasn't needed.  i woke up to my phone ringing, and it was my boss from another job.  the only "steady" one I've had ...ever.  I've worked there for almost 2 years!  well, not consistently.  I'm hardly ever available to work there, so I'm there less than a month these days.  anyway, due to the economy, he has to drop some people off the roster, and I'm one of them.  I hardly considered it a job.  I'm not going to be financially hurt by it.  And on the phone, I did a good job of convincing him and myself that I wasn't at all bothered by it.  But (actually, I'm impressed with how quickly I came to acknowledge this)  I'm really sad to be leaving.  When I was first hired, I didn't take it seriously, but he told my group that this place was a family.  I actually scoffed at the idea, but for the past year and a half, that place has been home.  One of the safest, most loving places I've known.  One of my closest circles of friends is there...the only real group of friends I had before program.  And some of my very very best friends...I met them and got to know them there.  I trained and learned new skills there.  I never had a binge there.  They provided many many meals.  I slept there, and I still go back to visit almost weekly.  The attention and validation I got when I did my job were fantastic, and The hugs and greetings I get every time I walk in that door are so loving...I'm really really going to miss it.  I already do.  I had wanted to hold onto it, but I guess it's time to let go.